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Writer's pictureCarolyn Membreño

Letting Go Of Toxic People

Just like saying no simplifies things, as you assess your next steps in your journey you may find that you also have toxic people in your life that you need to let go of. Toxic people tend to create tons of drama in their lives and those who associate with them. Less drama in your life is always a good thing.

Give Yourself Permission to Say Goodbye – When you realize someone is toxic and causing unnecessary drama or issues in your life, you need to give yourself permission to say goodbye to them. You are not obliged to stay in a relationship that is only painful, whether blood or not. There are no prizes at the end of life for doing so.

Reduce or Eliminate Contact – The moment you accept in your mind that the person is toxic, try to reduce or eliminate your contact with them. For some people, this is as far as you’re going to get to go if they are someone you must see, such as a co-worker or boss. For others, this is the start of getting them out of your life.

Don’t Ask for or Give an Apology – There is likely no real reason to discuss anything with the person. Doing so often doesn’t solve a problem, and they’re not going to say they’re sorry unless they feel they can manipulate you. You’ve had enough experience with the person to realize that you don’t need this type of closure. It’s not happening anyway.

Put More Time in Your Healthy Relationships – Now that you have some time freed up, not just in reality but in also your mind space, start putting more time into your healthy relationships. Think more about them, do something for them, and let them do something for you.

Experience Your Emotions but Move On – It’s okay to feel sad, and even bitter for a little bit. Let yourself feel the emotions, but it’s important to move on from the past. The entire point of eliminating a person from your life who is toxic is not to let them take up any space in your life that will affect future actions, including in your mind.

Learn from the Experience – One thing that is important to do if you face this issue is to figure out how the person got into your life to start with.

If it’s work or a relative, that’s understandable, but if you picked this person as your friend (or spouse) - why? And how can you avoid doing that in the future? Even if the toxic person is your parent or a relative, the experience of letting go of them will be a blessing in your life more than you may think. When someone is genuinely toxic, they won’t change no matter how much you beg, so letting them go will help you make your life less stressful and a lot more successful.


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